Dirty Secret
by Reiter157
Summary: Chris' emotions for Phil is getting the best of him. He gets so worked up that he jumps off the deep end by buying a robot replica of Phil. What happends if Phil finds out? Chris/Phil might change the rating in future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"I can't believe it came to this." Chris told himself standing in front of a store. He looked at it studying the features of the building; he looked up at the sign that read "Persocoms."

Chris has decided that these Persocoms would help deal with his little obsession.

Now for many years Chris had to deal with his little 'problem.' Chris had never told anyone about it because he was afraid of being teased by his fellow co-workers.

Chris' problem was that he had fallen for one of his co-worker named Phil Brooks, better known as CM Punk. He was embarrassed to tell him because he was afraid of rejection. So he admired him from afar.

But lately his feeling for him has grown very strong. So Chris decided to search on the internet for ways to deal with his emotions.

Hours went by, and now Chris was getting very upset. He lost all hope till he came across a website that advertised a company that made these robots called "Persocoms."

He read that Persocoms act and look like humans. But what got him really excided was that he can customize his very own to look like Phil. They were very expensive but he worked for the WWE so it was not a problem.

Chris has been waiting for a couple of weeks to pick it up. But now was his moment of truth, the Persocom was ready to be picked up.

He was standing outside the store staring at it, like some pervert standing in front of Victoria's Secret.

"Ok, Now I can pick this thing up and hurry back to the hotel before the show starts." Chris told himself.

He quickly ran into the store and right up to the counter.

"How can I help you sir?" The man behind the counter asked.

"I'm here for a pick up by the name of Chris Irvine."

"Alrighty, we have your order in the back just let me go grab it." With that the man walked to the storage room in the back leaving Chris alone. It was fine with Chris because he was lost in thought.

"What if this Persocom doesn't like me? What if he doesn't listen to me? Oh god what if he runs away, or worse… What if he runs into Phil?"

Now Chris was in a state of panic. He wanted to flare his arms running around screaming at the top of his lungs. He decided not to because he didn't want people thinking he was weirder then what he was.

By the time Chris snapped back to reality the man had returned with his Persocom.

The Persocom looked exactly like Phil. But the Persocom had cat like ears on the side of his head that had various wires he could use to plug into his computer.

Chris stood there dumbfounded by the Persocom. It was _his_ Persocom!

"He's perfect!" Chris whispered

The man showed him various things that _Phil _can do. Then rang Chris up and he was on his way.

Chris decided to turn Phil off and carry him back to the hotel because he was still in shock about buying him.

But on the way back he wasn't careful and Phil's memory chip fell out, now was lying on the street. And Chris continued on not noticing it.

Chris finally arrived to his room at the hotel. Thankfully no one was in the lobby and that he had a room by himself so he could get use to his Phil.

Chris felt odd on how he had to turn on Phil on account of that his turn on switch was between his legs. Chris reached in-between his legs blushing hard and flipped the switch on.

Phil started making computer like noises as he started up. Once he was fully on Phil cocked his head to the side staring right at the blushing Chris.

"Hello Phil." Chris said smiling.

"Phil?" Phil said back with a confused look.

"Yes, your name is Phil. Don't you remember your name?"

Phil shook his head telling Chris he didn't know. Chris was in shock; just earlier Phil knew his name and can do different things.

"Do you know anything?" Chris asked concerned.

Phil again shook his head no. Now Chris was now panicking, he grabbed Phil and opened up his ear to see if the memory chip was in there and it was gone.

"You must have lost your memory chip on the way here and I can't go back now it's almost time for me to go for RAW." Chris shook his head in disappointment.

"Oh well, it won't hurt to teach you some things before I could get another chip. Well let's start off then shall we."

Phil was getting so excided to learn new things he jumped onto Chris. Chris, now lying on the floor, was blushing hard again.

"Ok first things first get off of me."

Phil crawled back sitting with his legs crisscrossed in front of him.

"Ok my name is Chris."

"Chris?"

"Yes I'm Chris!" Chris said eagerly.

"CHRIS!" Phil shouted jumping onto Chris again.

"Ok, ok get off." Chris said smirking while pushing Phil off.

"Now you are Phil."

"Phil?" Phil said pointing to himself.

"Yes you are Phil."

"I Phil you Chris!"

"Good! You're learning fast!"

Phil started bouncing for joy again. Chris still smirked at him then glanced at his watch.

"Ooo… We got to get going! Come Phil I suppose you can come. I mean what can possibly go wrong." Chris said shutting the door behind them.

**Thanks for reading! This is my second story I have wrote so if it's bad I'm very sorry! You can point out mistakes I have made because it will help me write better, Thanks again for taking your time to read this! (Persocom idea to Chobits)**


	2. Chapter 2

Chris and Phil arrived to the arena, and went to Chris' private locker room. Luckily for the two of them, they're the first ones there.  
"What that." Phil asked, pointing to the building.

"This is an arena, and this arena is called the 'Covelli Center'. But I recalled last time I was here, it was called the 'Chevrolet Center', oh well." Chris said scratching his head, looking at the building. "Well let's get going."  
Phil nodded and followed Chris inside the arena. They were soon inside Chris' private locker room, were Chris has to changed into his ring gear. Soon as he was done getting his gear on, he walked over to Phil, who was sitting on the floor with his knees to his chest.  
"Are you ok?" Chris asked  
"Phil ok." He responded with a smile.  
"Just so you know, I want you to stay here while I go wrestle, ok?"  
Phil sat there with his head cocked staring off into space. "I'll take that as a yes then." Chris said turning to the door and proceeded to open it. "You be good Phi… PHIL!" Chris shouted as he opened the door to see a very confused Phil Brooks.  
"Hello Chris." Phil said still with a confused look.  
"Hi, sorry about that, I didn't expect you to be outside my locker room."  
"Well I heard you talking, and I was wondering who you were talking to." Phil asked.  
"I don't know what you're talking about Phil." Chris said smiling nervously.  
"Chris…" The Persocom called out.  
"Are you sure about that?" Phil asked, trying to look over Chris' shoulder.  
"I'm sure Phil."  
"Chris…" Persocom Phil whined out.  
"Whatever man, let's get going." Phil said shaking his head and walking away. Chris closed the door to the locker room and headed in the direction that Phil headed in.

"Chris… Chris?" the Persocom called out. He got up and headed for the door, thinking Chris would be on the other side. But to his disappointment, his beloved Chris wasn't there. He walked the halls till he came across a group of firemen standing nearby. He walked up to the one standing off from the rest of them.  
"Where Chris." He questioned the fireman.  
"What? First off, speak properly; you're not a damn two year old. Second, I don't know who Chris is." The fireman answered angrily. Phil started to tear up when suddenly one of the other firemen spoke up.  
"Yo, Arch, cut the man some slack he looks lost. Plus he seems different from the rest of us. Just look at those cat ears!"  
The fireman nodded his head. "Ok buddy I'll help you after the show. If you need me ask for John Reiter or Arch." He said with a goofy grin, Phil nodded and walked away.  
By now Phil found himself wondering outside the arena and across the street. (SimplyPriceless- Hope he didn't made people driving mad xD)  
The human-like robot found himself in front of a large building. "What YSU?" he asked, looking up at the huge penguin statue. He decided to fluff it off, and continue the journey to find Chris.

Meanwhile…

Chris finished his match, and he was greeted with an empty locker room. Chris started panicking; he proceeded down the hall screaming along the way. He could have went on for a while, but instead he bumped into a very grumpy fire captain.  
"Watch where you're going, buddy."  
"I'm sorry sir; I'm Chris by the way."  
"John Reiter." John responded. (SP- Just noticed that his last name was your username :D)  
"I'm sorry to disturb you, but I've got to go find someone." With that being said, Chris took off running and screaming again.

Back with Phil…  
Phil had wondered into the stadium of YSU, and to his surprise, there were people on the field. Phil took a seat in the top row to look at the appealing people that all matched with white feathers coming out of their heads. Then all of a sudden a group in the back started yelling.

"Sousaphones!"

"Say what?"  
"1-2-3 kick 'em."  
"Are you done, ready?"  
"Yes sir." The whole field shouted.  
Phil sat, and chuckled to himself what silly people. But he was cut off of thought when a group of people in the middle began screaming again.  
"Band! Daw na Daw na!"  
Then the whole group joined in.  
"H-U-B-B-A-R-D Hey"  
Phil got scared out of his wits when the sound of drums filled the stadium. He thought such noisy people! But there still being silly by trying to run into each other from opposite sides.  
"Let me introduce you to director Dan Nestich and assistance director Andrea Lewis…" The voice read off a few more names.  
"Your half-time show, with Neon Tree's Animal, with there musical pride Hubbard High School Marching Band!"  
Phil got scared when someone put there arm around him, but then he realized it was Chris.  
"They sound pretty good don't they."  
"They do!" Phil said happily to find Chris.  
"WOW! Did you see that? They are backward marching, must be tough on account they can't see behind them."  
They sat and watched the band perform to today's songs. They watched the drummers do their feature. Watched the majorettes dance to Bruno Mar's "Run Away Baby." Laughed at the band's shuffling skills in the middle of LMAFO's "Party Rock Anthem." They laughed even harder at the band's dance in Rihanna's "We Found Love." And finished it off with Adele's "Someone Like You/ Rumor Has It" and "Tutes and Flubas." Chris looked over at Phil who was sound asleep on his shoulder.  
"You must've had a long day!" Chris chuckled to himself.

**A/N First off the lovely cover is made by yours truly. Second sorry took so long! Third can you guess who Mr. Grumpy firefighter was *wiggle eyebrows*. Fourth sorry if the last part was boring! I need something! You may criticize me in the comments! I'm such a Band Geek! But guess what! 206 (minus me) are Band Geeks with me! Yeah that's right we have 207 people in my band *cough* *cough* We are one of the biggest bands in my area *cough* *cough***

**Covelli Center- Place in down town Youngstown**

**Reiter- pronounce like writer**

**YSU- Youngstown State University**

**Group that was in back- Sousaphones**

**Group in middle- percussionists (drummers)**

**Loud voice- Mr. Luther the announcer.**

**Mr. Nestich & Mrs. Lewis- has to be the shortest band directors ever!**

**All song listed- Half time show of the HHS band. **

**Tutes and Flubas- Notre Dame with only Flutes and Tubas**

**Thank You SimplyPric eless for fixing my mistakes!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Chris was carrying Phil out of the stadium when he noticed something. He could have sworn that The Miz was stand across the field talking to a short tan man.

"Why is Mike here?" Chris asked aloud.

He started walking to the other side of the field. Once he got close enough he screamed.

"Hey Mike… Mike… Mike?" Chris yelled repeatedly until the man turned around.

He gave Chris a weird look. Chris thought that's funny.

"Aren't you Mike Mizanin, better known as The Miz?"

"No, I'm not."

"He's the student teacher for my band." The smaller man added.

"Oh, I'm so sorry you just look dead on like him. You see I work with him on RAW, I'm Chris Jericho by the way."

"Well, nice to meet you." Both men said in unison.

"Oh, and before I leave, your band sounds wonderful! Keep up the great work."

"Hey if you're still in town in a few weeks, we are doing Script Ohio."

"Well sure! I have a few weeks off, so why not."

"Ok, great you can invite some of your buddies to come too. Plus we can have you announced as a special guest."

"That sounds great! Hey what's your name by the way?"

"I'm Dan Nestich, the band director."

"It's nice to meet you!" Chris said trying to sling Phil over his shoulder to shake Dan's hand.

The group exchanged smiles and Byes before leaving. Chris, on the way back to the arena, shook his head and laughed at the fact that guy looked alot like Mike.

"Wait…" Chris said stopping in his tracks.

"Damn! I forgot to get that other guy's name!" Chris shouted loud enough to wake the sleeping Persocom.

"Chris…" He said sleepily.

"Shh… Go back to sleep your tired."

He nodded and laid his head back on Chris' shoulder.

Chris finally got back to the deserted parking lot, so he thought; little did he know the 'Straight-Edge' superstar was hiding behind a bush watching him. Punk had a hard time seeing who he was carrying until the parking lot light the person.

"It looks like… like me!" Punk whispered to himself.

"How is it possible? I need some searching to do!" With that Punk made a mad dash to his car, so he could get to Chris' room before him.

It didn't take long to get to the hotel and to persuade the person at the front desk for a key to Chris's room, and by persuading I mean threading the person until they handed over the key.

Soon as he got to the room he rushed in so he can get in there and out before Chris got there. He searched high and low for any evidence of what that _thing _was. He thought there was no hope until he saw a reseat on the table.

"Bingo!" Punk stated, picking up the reseat and running out of the room.

"This is going to come in handy for what I have in store for a Mr. Y2J." he said while grinning evilly down the hallway.

_-Chapter Epilog-_

"So band listen up, we are going to have a special guest to our Script Ohio game." He began.

"Who is it?" Someone from the back of the room yelled.

"I'm getting to that part." The director said with a pout.

"Have any of you guys herd of Chris Jericho?"

A girl in the second row raised her hand with another two in back.

"Ah! Reiters you know who he is."

"He has to be one of the best wrestlers ever!"

"NO EDGE IS." The trumpet player yelled from the back.

He shook his head at the bickering sisters.

"I have another question for you Reiter."

"What is it?"

"When am I getting Papa Reiter's Chili?"

"I don't know! You've been asking for four years now!"

He laughed at the spazzing girl, and blew the whistle to begin class.

**A/N I'm sorry it took a while! Since it was short I added an Epilog to the chapter. Any ways, yesterday I really did preformed at YSU. It was so fun,** **except for this one part, but you don't need to know it. We preformed for over 2,000 people, plus it was televised. I thought I was going to tinkle in my Dinkle (band shoe). Also we didn't play all of those songs I listed, we only played Animal and We Found Love. Can you imagine doing the crab walk in front of all of those people?! I didn't think so. The sad part was last Friday we were going to do Script Ohio (Google it!) and it was cancelled because of the rain! I'll stop ranting now so I'll just go…**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm going to refer to Persocom Cm Punk as Phil and Cm Punk as Punk for a little less confusion. If you were confused I'M SORRY! **

**Chapter 4**

It finally came to Friday night, Chris was excided to see what the band had in store with there version of 'Script Ohio.'Phil was practically bouncing around the hotel room asking 1,000 questions a minute.

"Calm down, Phil!" Chris yelled getting a little annoyed.

"But he band! Chris band!" Phil fussed.

"Yes, we'll see the band!"

"When?!"

"Soon now calm down!"

Phil huffed himself in the chair and gave Chris a dirty look. Chris caught his death stare and sighed to the childish behavior his Persocom.

"If you keep that up there will be no band!"

Phil got frightened and straightened up his attitude.

**Mean While…**

Punk was in his room fidgeting with an item he just recently purchased.

"Damn thing! You better be worth the cost you were!" He yelled at the item.

"I think that's good enough." With that Punk turned it on.

It's eyes light up, and it's body started moving. It turned his head to Punk with a sinister smile. Punk shivered with fear and satisfaction.

"This will be perfect!" He exclaimed with an evil look in his eye.

**Back with Chris…**

It was almost time for the game, and Chris thought it would be funny to invite Mike to come along. Maybe he might even bring a camera to capture the moment of surprise.

"Hey Mike, do you want to come with Phil and myself to a football game?"

"Sure! I have nothing to do. It sounds like fun!" Mike said happily.

They all piled into one car and sped off for the high school. A few minutes later they arrive to enormous school campus, with all update technology and equipment.

"Damn! This school is HUGE!" Mike exclaimed with his jaw dropped.

"The old high school use to be bigger, but not too many people live here any more so they built it smaller." A student said walking past them.

"It was bigger?!"

"Well, the old one was all one level unlike this two leveled school."

"Oh…"

The group started walking to the band room, when Mike decided to cut through the grass when all of a sudden he heard:

"GET OFF THE GRASS!" a band mom shouted.

Mike was embarrassed and walked back on the sidewalk to the band room.

Once they were in the room they looked around to find the short Italian man he talked to a few days ago.

"Hey! There you guys are!" the band director yelled from the corner.

"Yea, we won't miss it for the world!" Chris said happily.

"Hey Nestich we…" the voice trailed off from behind.

The group turned around to see why the person stopped talking, when Mike caught eye with someone.

"Wow! You look good dude!" Mike said with a cocky grin.

"Ahhhh…" the man replied.

"Wait a second…" Mike started. "You look oddly familiar."

Mike started circling the man.

"You remind me of someone sexy." He continued.

"For God sake he looks like you!" Chris said irately.

"Ohh..." Mike replied stupidly.

"What's your name handsome sir?"

"It's Chas Miller." He replied nervously.

"That sounds exotic!" Mike said with his signature grin.

"Quit flirting Mike! I bet he's not interested!" Chris said getting really annoyed with Mike's attitude.

With that Mike and Chris started fighting while Phil rocked on his feet humming 'Animal.' While the group carried on, Chas started getting a little freaked out so he slowly backed away and made a mad dash for the door.

The group was interrupted by a whistle being blown. Nestich was calling the band to attention. He gave them a pep talk before he let the band president take the podium. He went on and on about the same thing Nestich already said. Once he was done they said their band creed and piled outside to the street to line up.

Chris, Phil and Mike followed Nestich and everyone outside. Chas stood as far away as possible from Mike, but that wasn't stopping Mike. Mike kept staring at him with a dazed look, until Phil pushed him.

"Hey! What's that for?!"

"Chris said if I did that he'd buy me popcorn!" Phil replied happily.

"Well ok then… Oh one more thing. Why the hell are you wearing cat ears?"

"Because he likes cats!" Chris snickered.

"Whatever!"

**A/N: Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't been updating and that it's short! I'm so lazy, plus I have no motivation. But oh well, so if you really one see the Script Ohio performance here's the link:  watch?v=HAXiLF1O_nM (sorry if it sounds bad, I thought it sounded pretty dang good!) This is the link to our YSU performance:  watch?v=IfUfUXHQQdc (Sorry We didn't play all the songs I listed, Plus our 'We Found Love' part sounded bad) We also did Gangnam Style:  watch?v=IpjUOE7b56E Sorry about all them links! Oh and remember the epilog from the last chapter? Well Nestich did finally got Papa Reiter's Chili. **

**Stay tuned to see what happens next.**


End file.
